Breaking Free

I've been thinking more about what I could add to my life and what needs replacing It could be a long list, but this is what immediately comes to mind:

• Replace some of the mindless time spent on the computer with painting - something I'm not great at, but love to do. For some reason I don't do it anymore.
• Add more water. I'm still struggling to make that a habit, but I'm working on that in a new way. (More on that later.)
• Add more fruits and vegetables.
• Add more sleep.
• Add vitamins.
• Replace negative self-talk with self respect and the truth.
• Add more Jesus. I don't know why I'm running from him right now when he's been so good for me in the past. I know I need him, but I ignore him.
• Add some exercise.
  
• Replace a few take out and fast food meals with meals cooked at home.
• Add a little routine, some structure to my day, or I should say, replace my current routine with one that works better for me.
• More sex. (Sorry, if that offends, but I love my husband, and this area of our marriage suffers because of my depression.)
  

These are some of the areas that I think need the most immediate attention.

I wonder if I'm even capable of breaking out of this cycle of chronic depression. I've had people, one a counselor I was seeing, tell me that maybe I'm one of those people who needs to be on medication for the rest of my life, but I can't or won't accept that as truth. I believe if I could just change some of my thought and behavior patterns that the brain chemistry would follow, and I could break out of this rut. It's my hope anyway.

So, how am I challenging myself this week? Well, a friend of mine, who faces similar challenges, and I are participating together in a two week challenge. Every day for the next two weeks we are going to, 1) eat breakfast, 2) drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, and 3) exercise in some way for 5 consecutive minutes.

These are very small requirements, I realize, but still very challenging for me, especially the "every day" part. Consistency is not something I've ever had a handle on.

At the end of two weeks, if we are both successful, we're going to reward ourselves somehow; a movie, a road trip, a visit to a museum, or something along those lines. It's day two of our challenge. I've had my breakfast, and I'm sitting here with a big glass of ice water. Now maybe I'll go slide up and down the hallway in my fluffy socks for 5 minutes!