Monday, December 14, 2009

So, Why Don't You Just Take a Pill?

I'm not opposed, in any way, to the use of antidepressants. I've taken them before, and the medication was effective for lifting my mood and helping me out of depression. What it was not effective at doing was helping me develop healthy habits that would keep me from sliding easily back into a depressive state.

Depression is full of catch 22's that create that downward spiral. Exercise is wonderful for rebuilding a healthy brain chemistry that can lift one out of the pit, besides the physical benefits, but the last thing a depressed person feels like doing is exercising. It's not at all easy, when you're depressed, to force yourself to do something, even when you know that something could save you, a BIG catch 22.

Getting out and being with people you care about is another thing that can help lift you up, but again, not easy to do when you need lifting.

For me, prayer is extremely helpful in every situation, but when I'm depressed praying is hard to do. I can't concentrate long enough to pray, and the connection I usually feel to God seems nonexistent when I am depressed. It takes extreme faith, in those situations, to believe that even though I can't feel the connection it's there, but when I can't feel the connection and I can't concentrate, I tend to just not pray, even though I know it will help me. Another catch 22.

There is no end to these speed bumps on the road out of depression, so at times, medication can be not only helpful, but, for me, a necessary tool to getting my life back. I have some red flags that tell me it's time to stop trying to muscle my way out of depression and get some help, but this time around, I've decided to try and coach myself first.

The promise I am making to myself is that I will actually DO what I instruct myself to do via this blog. In order to keep that promise, I know that I cannot instruct myself to do things that I know I'm not ready to do, and I can't ask myself to do too much at a time, but that doesn't mean I will not challenge myself. I will make myself stretch and grow by taking small steps.

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